sardar appearing for university exams

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".


 An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

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story of one sardar

 Delivered
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".



* Smart Sardarji
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

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women sardar on her way

Woman
Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"


* Bus ride
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."


* Sardarjee's Love
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse. He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

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sardar with different people

Sardar at bar in New York .

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

***********************************************
Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at

night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when
light
is not needed!!!

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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the

other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says

YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

***********************************************

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register
marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post

office....

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"

Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

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sardar on his exam and interview

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the

exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with
father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF

FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE

FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

***********************************************
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?

Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?

Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

***********************************************
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?

Sardar : liquid state.....

Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE
SARDARS.......

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sardar making poetric

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Sardar thinks "how poetic"

Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

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saradar makes us to laugh

1. Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

2. Did you hear about the Sardar who signed all his cheques so that no one else could use them if he lost his cheque book?

3. Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

4. A Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines
down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles;
the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar
why he kept painting less each day,
He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

5. Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

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some glimpses of sardar

Two Singh went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied
"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK,

I thought, thought, thought

and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"



Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?

Sardar: 19th january.

Interviewer: which year?

Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year.

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sardar on a island

Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a Muslim, and the other a Singh. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.

The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim.

He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.

Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and he too drowned.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming.

He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.

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sardar at heaven

A Singh died and went to heaven.

When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Which days of the week begin with “ T ”

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...

1..The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected.
But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March , 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

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sardar on construction field

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay.
One is a South Indian, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Surd..
Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together.
One fine day, the South Indian opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die".
Next the Surd opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "If I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump and die".
The next day the three friends meet for lunch. The South Indian guy opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
The Surd opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the South Indian's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much.
If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Surd's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!".

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sardar on his foot of intelligence

* Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl! So girl
shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se
maroon??!!!'

* A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning
becomes tight"

* Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

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sardar fooled by people

ANOTHER COUNT!

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86".
He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?"
The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know,I can let you go under there and find out.

He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay."
The man lifts the manhole cover. He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it
yelling "87, 87, 87"...


TO LOOSE WEIGHT...

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.

"I'm 2400 kms from home."

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sardar thinking of history and deaths

 Sardar in a library bangs a book on the table, saying
Wht is this book, all names of characters and no story at all"
Librarian: so u r the one who took the telephone directory!!!


* When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another angel!!!..
& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!
Competition...!!! ....


* Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............

*2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

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sardar and his girl friends

*Sardar Proposing a girl: darling kia tum mugh se shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo!
Sardar: Behan je kia ap mugh se shadi karogi


*teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

*Sardar leave application
Dear sir
My wife is ill
As there is no other husband in the family to look after her, kindly grant me leave 4 one day.
Pls

*Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

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sardar as intelligent

* A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab..!!

* A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her !"


* Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

* Sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
.........................................
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

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sardar foriegn jokees

* One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner."Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

* Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

* Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

* A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI"

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mobile sardar jokes

* Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.

* Sardar when I sleeps, monkey play football in my dreams,
Dr. No Problem take this medicine b4 sleep,
Sardar kaal se longa, ajj raat final hay

* Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

* A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

* Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................

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santa_banta_cycle

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wat a girl wants

What a girl is waiting for:!









Her knight in shining armor









A man with money to burn










A man who is tall dark and handsome.










A man with a big house.











A man with a fancy car.











A man who will love only her.












She is still waiting!!!

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A true beer fan

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funny paper foldings

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Before and after swine flue

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20 century hungry kids

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Evolution of Bill Gates

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interesting and funny

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Creative ads

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Not a high tech copy....its a low tech copy..a royal copy

Sincere Friend-(Like me)

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Life Cycle of an IT Employee

Life Cycle of an IT Employee

It's true they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.
I don't think there is a better way of explaining our life. Imagine yourself sitting in the black chair

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